A new social norm.
Going to the movies has never really been my thing. When one of my favourite bands releases a new album, I’ll pre-order the limited edition, ultra deluxe, expanded collector’s version, with a premium delivery option to make sure it arrives on the day of release. It’s rare that a new film generates the same level of excitement. I’m usually content to wait until sofa viewing options become available.
There are exceptions, movies that I think are worth watching on the big screen, but a trip to the cinema comes with a certain amount of trepidation. Who will the universe decide I’ll be sharing a dark room with for a couple of hours or so?
A seat stealer is virtually guaranteed. Someone from that subset of special people you’ll find spilling nachos in your reserved seat, who refuses to move until an usher asks to see their ticket and tells them it’s for another day. Or will I be sitting in front of a seat kicker, next to a loud popcorn cruncher, a constant talker, a sneaky farter?
They’re the worst. It’s never just one fart, always a steady supply. Everyone is thinking the same thing: who the hell keeps doing that? Except for one person who’s thinking: no one will ever know it’s me so here comes another one. If I was granted one Christmas wish, farts would be visible. A vivid blue cloud emerging from your butt whenever you decide to let one go would, I suspect, discourage most people from doing so in a public space.
Generally speaking, these disturbances don’t turn out to be as bad as I feared. People settle down once the movie starts. Even mobile phone etiquette was more or less observed when you consider there aren’t too many people who are able to leave their devices alone for more than an hour nowadays.
Until recently that is.
My wife didn’t take me seriously when I suggested we go out to see Barbie but I admit the hype intrigued me and I don’t wear my flashy pink shirt often enough. More recently I went to see Alien: Romulus. Despite a few dodgy diversions, the Alien franchise still holds up on the strength of the original movies. I’m a big fan so I wanted the cinematic experience.
On those last couple of occasions, I witnessed more than a few of my fellow audience members continually using their phones throughout the movie; scrolling, messaging or commenting, even watching videos - yes, without headphones. My disbelief peaked when someone next to me took a call. No, he didn’t lower his voice.
At first I was dumbfounded. How can people be so utterly inconsiderate? Then... enlightenment. There’s more to it than simple rudeness. We’re in the initial stage of a new human behavioural pattern. I know, I should have been an anthropologist.
During a recent train journey, I was fortunate to have the company of a young lad who, after plonking himself next to me, bent forward and tilted his neck at a wince-inducing angle to watch something on his phone. Something loud with guns and shouting. This clearly wasn’t going to be a quick clip before it was tucked away in favour of an Alastair Reynolds novel so I asked my new travel buddy if he had any earphones.
Huh, what?
I was just wondering if you had earphones with you.
Er... yeah I do.
Do you mind using them? I don’t really want to listen to that.
Erm... yeah... ok. He gave me a puzzled look. Um... yeah, I can use my earphones.
After rustling through his backpack for a while, airpods were procured and screwed into place. Now I only had to listen to the much fainter sounds of a video playing a few seats back.
This guy seemed genuinely perplexed by my request but he complied with it straight away. I don’t think he meant to be a dick. It just hadn’t occurred to him that he was bothering me.
Smartphones didn’t exist when I was a teenager, I’ve only owned one for about half my adult life. That means I have the experience of being in a public space during a time when no one played with mobile devices while being oblivious to anything else. Even as more and more people began to spend more and more time focussing on their portals of doom, they’d still have the decency to put them away when they had company. We’re past that point now.
A large proportion of the planet’s population - what, tweens up to millennials? - have owned a phone for as long as their conscious minds can recall. So have all their friends. For them, using a phone all the time, whether alone in their room or out with every single person they know, is normal. Not using their phone for more than a couple of minutes, even if they’ve paid a lot of money to engage in some other activity, isn’t normal. It’s old people behaviour.
Here’s another example of something I found odd because I’m an old person. A group of girls sat down opposite me in a mall, taking a break from their shopping. As one, they took out their phones. Not a word was spoken. No giggling or chatting or any of the social behaviour I would associate with a bunch of friends out shopping together. Just solemn, silent scrolling. I suppose, being in a mall, they needed to consult their influencers.
How old are kids when they receive their first smartphone now? I wouldn’t be surprised if it was younger than 7 or 8 because I realise they’ll quickly become a social outcast without one. I’m sure firm parental rules accompany the life event that is “Baby's First Smartphone” ceremony, rules such as, have some consideration for the people around you, but one thing I do remember from my childhood - when I was out with friends, I’d usually default to the group habit if I couldn’t see any obvious harm in it. That might not necessarily have aligned with what my parents... advised.
It’s not just kids. As adults become more absorbed with their own phones, good manners diminish and are no longer passed on. The social norm gradually changes. What starts off as unsociable and intrusive becomes normal, acceptable behaviour when practically everyone is doing it.
Soon enough everyone in the world will have owned a smartphone their whole lives. I can’t imagine what that society will be like (cinemas probably won’t exist) but I do know that karma will eventually arrive when the next invention to encourage whatever is perceived as obnoxious behaviour in the future, becomes widely used in the following generations.